1. An elder is someone who is older than you, born before World War II and looks like your mother (or grandmother) depending on your age.
2. An elder is someone who remembers the Civil War, both World Wars and in a few years Vietnam.
3. An elder is someone who drives slower than you and doesn’t get cited for “reckless” driving.
4. An elder is someone who almost always has an opinion that you may get whether you want it or not.
5. An elder is someone who at one time made homemade cookies, jam and never talked about calories or carbs.
6. An elder is someone who, believe it or not, at one time was young, sexy, in love and a “catch.”
7. An elder is someone who piloted an airplane, worked in a logging camp, built ships for war, managed a corporation or ran for high political office.
8. An elder is someone who loves babies and small children preferably in small doses.
9. An elder is someone who is cost conscious about almost everything but will regale you with travel stories taken during early retirement years.
10. An elder is someone who has lived a long time, gathered an accumulation of life experiences, has much knowledge to share, and is but waiting to be asked.
11. An elder is someone who is a role model for our future, a gem to be cherished and appreciated.
12. An elder is someone who enriches our perspective on life.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

For some people, life after 65 represents the golden years, but for others it’s filled with a plethora of doctor visits that can make life a drag. One of the best ways to feel better is also the simplest:  laughter.

Never say, “Never.”

It is never too late to start letting the little things go, and looking for opportunities to make light of silly situations. One way is to look for ways to connect with people who have a slightly skewed – even ridiculous – take on things.  They will bring you more joy and help you react to things less seriously. Try reminding yourself every day of the importance of laughter, and you may even be able to affect change in those around you.

Scientists are still learning how and why laughter benefits our health.

Laughter is a natural impulse. It may not be as important or automatic as breathing or blood pumping, but it is right up there with crying or scratching an itch…only better. You know that laughter is good because it feels great at the time and you feel better afterward.

Norman Cousins had the right idea!

Ever since Norman Cousins wrote his book, Anatomy of an Illness, in which he personally explored the benefits of laughter, scientists have been researching laughter benefits. What they know for sure is that laughter relieves pain. Cousins liked to watch the Marx brothers and Candid Camera on television when he was ill, and claimed that 10 minutes of laughter helped him sleep for two hours without pain.  According to Cousins, “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.”

Laughing is good for you!

Some doctors now recommend getting 15 minutes of laughter every day. They believe laughing benefits health in the following areas:

• Good Hormones – Laughter produces the natural feel-good endorphin hormones, which can help reduce stress, aid relaxation and sleep and produce a natural “high.”
• Mini Workout – Pioneer researcher William Fry compared exercise to laughter, concluding that just one minute of “hearty laughter” elevated his heart rate to the same level it reached after 10 minutes on a rowing machine.
• Heart Health – Laughter increases blood supply and expands the inner walls of your arteries.

The most satisfying laughter is shared. Think back to the last time you really laughed. Were you alone? Probably not. Couples know that laughter is a superglue-like bonding experience, allowing them to achieve intimacy and smooth over ruffled feathers with a single snort.

Families benefit from shared laughter.

Siblings can become best friends. After all, it is hard to dislike a person that makes you laugh. Laughter is infectious. Laughter gives you the ability to make choices when everything seems to be out of your control. Instead of falling apart at provocation, you can choose to laugh about it, which in turn makes you feel like you’re in control.

Laughter can help you survive with your sanity intact.

Laughter is helpful in large and small doses, but it is best when it is spontaneous. When you experience a good laugh, your brain secretes endorphins and the movement of laughter within your body actually exercises many muscles of the body. Endorphins are the “feel-good” brain chemicals, which raise both your mood and your ability to cope.

Humor helps to keep your body strong.

Laughter is one of the body’s safety valves; a counter balance to tension. When we release that tension, the elevated levels of the body’s stress hormones drop back to normal, thereby allowing our immune systems to work more effectively.

Yes, laughter is actually is the best medicine and good for our health!

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

Caring for a family member is emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss. You can reduce your distress by concentrating on the present moment, the here and now, and by thinking of your relationship with a loved one as the glass half full.

Seize the Day!

Try to observe yourself while in your caretaking role. Identify your thoughts. Remember that “should haves” and “if onlys” are based on trying to rewrite the past, while “wants” and “what ifs” focus on the future. Both prompt anxiety and depression.  Be here now, for the day!

Life Is a Series of Precious Moments.

It is important to acknowledge your negative feelings without judging yourself. Accept what is. What’s happening now is a done deal. Simply allow it, don’t fight it in your mind, and you’ll be less stressed. Focus on the present. Stay out of the past and future in your thinking. Take a few deep breaths. Shift your attention to create room for something positive right now. Think of something that engages one of your senses; the taste of your coffee, the color of the sky, or the music on the radio.

Refresh and Be Refreshed.

Repeat as needed to refresh your outlook!

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

“Advice is like snow–the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks, into the mind. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It’s time to prepare for the winter.  All around us we see squirrels gathering nuts for the winter, birds preparing to fly south and shorter daylight hours. Now, it’s our turn to get ready for winter, and the possible winter snow storms that can knock out power. Let’s start with a home emergency kit, a must have for the home of every citizen, especially seniors.

Emergency Kit Essentials

Your home emergency kit should have food, bottled water and supplies to live on for at least 3 days or longer. Keep your emergency kit all together in your home, and in an easy-to-carry container in case you need to leave quickly.

Below is a checklist of items that should be included in the emergency kit:

• Bottled water (for at least 3 days)

• At least a 3-day supply of foods that won’t spoil

• Battery-powered radio and extra batteries

• Flashlights and extra  batteries

• First Aid Kit with: bandages, gauze pads, antibacterial wipes, latex gloves, scissors, safety pins and aspirin or non-aspirin pain reliever

• Sturdy shoes or boots

• Heavy socks

• Hats and gloves

• Extra clothing and blankets

• Cash (ATM’s may not work

• Non-electric can opener

• Extra house keys

• Paper towels

• Tooth brush and paste

• Feminine supplies

• Soap

• Towels & washcloths

• One-week supply of medications

• Extra glasses

Now you’re ready to roll! With all the necessary supplies on hand, look out the window, and enjoy the beauty of falling snow.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

November is a time to honor those who facilitate a lifestyle that offers giving support and as much independence as possible to older adults.

Family Caregivers

President Barack Obama declared November as National Family Caregivers Month stating, “Across our country, millions of family members, neighbors, and friends provide care and support for their loved ones during times of need. With profound compassion and selflessness, these caregivers sustain American men, women and children at their most vulnerable moments, and through their devoted acts, they exemplify the best of the American spirit.”

Statistics from the Administration On Aging show that the population 65-years-old and older is expected to grow from its current 13% to 19% of the total population by 2030. With the older population increasing, the need for elder care giving will continue to increase.

Career Caregivers

Outside of family caregivers, we need to salute geriatric caregivers who perform a wide variety of roles that tend to the needs of seniors who live at home and in facilities.  Depending on the clients’ level of independence, job responsibilities of caregivers range from light housework, shopping, cooking, scheduling and driving clients to appointments, stores and social engagements, to reminding clients to take their medicine and assist them with bathing, dressing, grooming and using the toilet.

Certified Care More Important Than Certificates of Education

Although no specific educational degrees are required to become a geriatric caregiver, reputable care giving agencies require their job applicants to pass psychological and other tests, including background checks. Certified agencies, like Elder Connections, must meet strict federal requirements for patient care and management.

Providing Quality of Life Is Demanding

The physical demands of care taking can be rigorous. Duties may include light nursing, changing surgical dressings, giving medications, or changing bedpans. The emotional demands can also be rigorous. Patients may be difficult, depressed or violent and in as much need of emotional attention as they are of physical attention. But good caregivers derive great satisfaction from knowing they are helping their clients enjoy a better quality of life.

Celebrate Those Who Celebrate Others’ Well-Being

Our caregivers help the elderly live more comfortably at home or in a senior care facility. We ask you to please acknowledge them with a note, a gift of thanks or even an offering of your time to give them a needed break. Please let the people who graciously accept their duties to our beloved seniors that their service is recognized and appreciated.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

Some of my closest moments with my mother occurred when she trusted me to help her with her bills, check book and banking account. At first, I simply sat with her and went over the bills, made out the checks, and gave them to her to sign. A year later, Mom authorized her checking account as a joint checking account so that either one of us could sign the checks. In time, Mom was relieved and confident in turning over the entire process to me.

Money Matters Do Matter

When should you take over Mom or Dad’s checkbook? Money matters are intensely private.  No one wants to infringe on a family member’s independence; yet, it is often through financial mishaps that you may become aware of changes in your parent’s memory and/or thinking.

When to Know When It’s Time to Step In

Identifying the Signs of Financial Loss of Control in Seniors

1. Difficulty counting change

2. Difficulty balancing a checkbook

3. Frequent late payment of bills

4. Confusion about banking transactions

5. Unusual or repetitive purchases

6. Accusations that others are stealing from them

7. Investing in “get rich quick” schemes

Offer Help, Not Criticism

Offer to help in a way that saves face for your family member. For example, “Gosh, it looks like you’ve forgotten to pay your gas bill. You’ve got so many other things to do.  You know, there are some easy ways to take some of these chores off your plate.”

Take Advantage of Automatic Banking

In addition, a number of safeguards are available

• Set up auto deposit of Social Security and other retirement income

• Arrange for overdraft protection at the bank

• Initiate auto payment of bills &/or third party notification if a bill is not paid

• Consider a joint bank account

One Less Worry, Much Less Stress

At first, keep reassuring your parent that he/she no longer has to worry about the bills, and that you are making sure everything is paid. Very quickly, your parent will trust it is all in your good hands. This will give the two of you more time to simply talk and enjoy each other’s company without the burden of financial concerns.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Care Manager at Elder Connections

BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS, CMC
President Elder Connections

Elder Connections is determined to support our commitment to eradicate Alzheimer’s Disease.  We want to share your story — The Voices of Alzheimer’s.  Our pledge is a donation in your   or your loved one’s name to the Alzheimer’s Association.

Laurelle’s Personal Story

My husband is 90 years old and living in an Alzheimer’s Unit of a Nursing Home.  My life has been in a state of shock — never did I imagine the horror of this world of Alzheimer’s.

Once a darling Scottish man, a servant leader for our church and in the Royal Air Force, who enjoyed gardening is now lost in his memory and dependent upon the care of a nursing home.

The journey began in 2008, when I noticed his symptoms of dementia and challenges associated with daily living.  The emotional pain of watching my husband slip away continues to cause my heartache.  I wish for more information — from medical advice, caregiver support and directives in planning for what lies ahead.  And yet, this experience teaches me extreme compassion with a desire to help others facing similar problems.  If we all give with our hearts and contribute to the Alzheimer’s Association in search for a cure.  Imagine the difference in the lives of many Alzheimer patients and their families.

Our hearts go out to Laurelle and her husband.

Caring for an Aging Parent or Spouse suffering with Alzheimer’s disease?

Elder Connections is ready to help!  Download your Better Senior Care Planning Kit and let’s talk!

Remembering Ella

Woman’s Legacy Impacts Elder Connections

William Howard Taft was president.  The Titanic had not yet sunk.  It would still be eight more years until women were allowed to vote, and in 1911 Ella Reiter was born in New Jersey.

It seems that only yesterday, Elder Connections was celebrating the 100th birthday of Ella Reiter. Now, sadly, we remember her life and the wisdom that she imparted.

Being around Ella was always an encouraging and uplifting experience.  Throughout her life she volunteered in the name of basic human goodness.  She treated people with true kindness and respect.

Senior’s Zest for Life

Ella’s amazing zest for life was evident in her many interests including music, literature, writing poetry and making friends.  During meal times at her retirement communty you could find Ella in the dining room sitting with her friends – and she had many.

She was a rare combination of competence and compassion.  Her pride and joy were her two children — a son and a daughter.

Ella stayed active, ate well and always looked forward to the future.  When interviewed on her 100th birthday, Ella said, “Turning 100 only means thankfulness to me, that my brain still works the way it should,” and it did.

Ella Reiter made the world a better place and will remain a role model for aging gracefully.

BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS CMC
President Elder Connections

Prescription Plan Spells Predicament

It happens every year.  My husband’s company starts the year with either a new health insurance plan or a new prescription plan.  This year, it was a new prescription plan.

One of the many things I do as a Professional Geriatric Care Manager includes advocating for our clients’ needs by accessing their insurance when there is a problem.  But, this time, it got very personal.  This time, it was about me!

I am still stunned by my experience and thought it was best to share how events unfolded when I tried to obtain my medication.  It is a lesson to all of us and one most of us already know to well.  Here is what happened:

January 17th – I sent my new drug information form to my primary care physician to keep in my file for the future

February 10th – I called my primary physician’s office to order 5 prescriptions (I have high blood pressure, Asthma, and Osteopenia)

February 12^{th –} I left for a vacation out of the country

February 21st – Upon returning home from vacation, received a message from the doctor’s office.   They were unable to identify my insurance provider and yet previously I provided them with the information.   My prescriptions were ordered through Express Scripts the following day.

February 28th – Contacted the insurance company because I still had not received my medication.  Apparently the Asthma medication was not on the approved list.  But, this denial was overturned and expected to receive the medication in 5 – 10 business days.

March 4th - Still no medications.   Called the insurance company  again.  Now the medication for Osteroporosis was not approved and needed to be appealed by the doctor.  I requested passionately that I needed my other medication.  They promised to send it in 3 – 5 business days

March 7th – Another call to the doctor’s office requesting the appeal for the declined medication.  They said that they would handle this appeal immediately.  I still did not receive all other medication. Called the insurance company to ask “why?”    They apologized and stated all would be shipped in 3 – 5 business days, but because of the delay they would send it overnight at their expense.  Total time equals another week.  They also said that I was approved for my Osteoporosis medication.  Also, they would approve 3 of the medications to be picked up at my local pharmacy rather than by mail for my convenience.

March 8th – Called the pharmacy to pick up the medications.  Now only one of them was not approved.  I called the insurance company to find out what happened.  They apologized and said that they would fix this problem.  I called the pharmacy back and was told that it was approved.

Here’s What I Learned

Based upon my personal experience, I have thought the insurance and health care system challenges our seniors face.  How many of them could sustain this quest for better senior care?

Each company has their own formulary or list of “approved” medications to save money for the company and possibly the consumer.  When someone’s insurance is changed, the medication that has been sustaining them is up for grabs.  In my case, neither my doctor nor I was informed until I reacted to the fact that nothing came in the mail.  My doctor did not know to appeal because no one told her that an appeal was necessary.

Tips For Facing Prescription Providers and Living To Tell About It

When helping a senior or yourself, here is what I have learned:

• Understand your company’s formulary
• Anticipate problems when a drug you are using is not on the list
• Develop a deep and lasting relationship with those who work in your primary care physician’s office.  Be on the best of terms.  You will need their support.
• Be proactive and never take anything for granted
• Be a “gnat”.  Never let go of the goal at hand
• Use any leverage that you may have to achieve your goal.  For example, I will discuss my situation with my husband’s Human Resource Department.  Also, writing this blog is helpful in working through my experience.
• Ask for a supervisor when the person you are speaking with is not helping
• Understand this:  You can not change the system, but you can learn to work within it.

Our seniors face many challenges. Compliance with medication management is a key component in sustaining people in their homes.  When they have challenges in receiving the medications necessary to manage chronic and potentially dangerous conditions, we must advocate on their behalf.  Elder Connections fights this “good fight” every day.  Would you like our help?

Ella Celebrates 100 years

Each birthday is a milestone, and some deserve special attention.   For Ella Reiter, 100 is only a number.  Ella was born in Atlantic City, New Jersey on February 2, 1911, where she raised her two children, David and Judy, until moving to The Watermark, a senior retirement living community, in Philadelphia fourteen years ago.

Active Lifestyle Extends Senior Years

At 100, Ella is still active, friendly, and full of energy.  At one time she was in charge of welcoming new residents to the Watermark community.  She is a member of the poetry club and had a poem published in the “Spotlight.”  She is an avid reader, as evidenced by the pile of books next to her bed.

“I never just sat around.  That’s why I’m still strong.  I’ve had a great time my whole life and was an athlete.  I was even on a gymnastics team,” Ellas said.  Her active life in Atlantic City included starting a library in her synagoue, serving as the president of the PTA, Secretary and Treasurer of New Jersey Sisterhoods, and recipient of the Woman of Valor Award.  In addition, Ella ran and worked in her husband’s dental office until she retired at age 75.  To mark her 100th birthday, members of her Atlantic City synagogue, where she is still a member, donated money in her honor.

Aging Refines Better Senior Care

A centennial birthday is a momentous event, one that should be recognized by family and friends, and Ella is blessed with many loving family members and her “new” friends at the Watermark.  Ella celebrated her birthday with close family memmbers — about 16 people.  A favorite with her many nieces and nephews, she is their role model for aging gracefully.

Someone on a road trip looking for the Fountain of Youth may want to stop and ask Ella for directions.  Ella’s zest for life is amazing.  Happy Birthday, Ella!

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager with Elder Connections