1. An elder is someone who is older than you, born before World War II and looks like your mother (or grandmother) depending on your age.
2. An elder is someone who remembers the Civil War, both World Wars and in a few years Vietnam.
3. An elder is someone who drives slower than you and doesn’t get cited for “reckless” driving.
4. An elder is someone who almost always has an opinion that you may get whether you want it or not.
5. An elder is someone who at one time made homemade cookies, jam and never talked about calories or carbs.
6. An elder is someone who, believe it or not, at one time was young, sexy, in love and a “catch.”
7. An elder is someone who piloted an airplane, worked in a logging camp, built ships for war, managed a corporation or ran for high political office.
8. An elder is someone who loves babies and small children preferably in small doses.
9. An elder is someone who is cost conscious about almost everything but will regale you with travel stories taken during early retirement years.
10. An elder is someone who has lived a long time, gathered an accumulation of life experiences, has much knowledge to share, and is but waiting to be asked.
11. An elder is someone who is a role model for our future, a gem to be cherished and appreciated.
12. An elder is someone who enriches our perspective on life.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

For some people, life after 65 represents the golden years, but for others it’s filled with a plethora of doctor visits that can make life a drag. One of the best ways to feel better is also the simplest:  laughter.

Never say, “Never.”

It is never too late to start letting the little things go, and looking for opportunities to make light of silly situations. One way is to look for ways to connect with people who have a slightly skewed – even ridiculous – take on things.  They will bring you more joy and help you react to things less seriously. Try reminding yourself every day of the importance of laughter, and you may even be able to affect change in those around you.

Scientists are still learning how and why laughter benefits our health.

Laughter is a natural impulse. It may not be as important or automatic as breathing or blood pumping, but it is right up there with crying or scratching an itch…only better. You know that laughter is good because it feels great at the time and you feel better afterward.

Norman Cousins had the right idea!

Ever since Norman Cousins wrote his book, Anatomy of an Illness, in which he personally explored the benefits of laughter, scientists have been researching laughter benefits. What they know for sure is that laughter relieves pain. Cousins liked to watch the Marx brothers and Candid Camera on television when he was ill, and claimed that 10 minutes of laughter helped him sleep for two hours without pain.  According to Cousins, “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.”

Laughing is good for you!

Some doctors now recommend getting 15 minutes of laughter every day. They believe laughing benefits health in the following areas:

• Good Hormones – Laughter produces the natural feel-good endorphin hormones, which can help reduce stress, aid relaxation and sleep and produce a natural “high.”
• Mini Workout – Pioneer researcher William Fry compared exercise to laughter, concluding that just one minute of “hearty laughter” elevated his heart rate to the same level it reached after 10 minutes on a rowing machine.
• Heart Health – Laughter increases blood supply and expands the inner walls of your arteries.

The most satisfying laughter is shared. Think back to the last time you really laughed. Were you alone? Probably not. Couples know that laughter is a superglue-like bonding experience, allowing them to achieve intimacy and smooth over ruffled feathers with a single snort.

Families benefit from shared laughter.

Siblings can become best friends. After all, it is hard to dislike a person that makes you laugh. Laughter is infectious. Laughter gives you the ability to make choices when everything seems to be out of your control. Instead of falling apart at provocation, you can choose to laugh about it, which in turn makes you feel like you’re in control.

Laughter can help you survive with your sanity intact.

Laughter is helpful in large and small doses, but it is best when it is spontaneous. When you experience a good laugh, your brain secretes endorphins and the movement of laughter within your body actually exercises many muscles of the body. Endorphins are the “feel-good” brain chemicals, which raise both your mood and your ability to cope.

Humor helps to keep your body strong.

Laughter is one of the body’s safety valves; a counter balance to tension. When we release that tension, the elevated levels of the body’s stress hormones drop back to normal, thereby allowing our immune systems to work more effectively.

Yes, laughter is actually is the best medicine and good for our health!

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

November is a time to honor those who facilitate a lifestyle that offers giving support and as much independence as possible to older adults.

Family Caregivers

President Barack Obama declared November as National Family Caregivers Month stating, “Across our country, millions of family members, neighbors, and friends provide care and support for their loved ones during times of need. With profound compassion and selflessness, these caregivers sustain American men, women and children at their most vulnerable moments, and through their devoted acts, they exemplify the best of the American spirit.”

Statistics from the Administration On Aging show that the population 65-years-old and older is expected to grow from its current 13% to 19% of the total population by 2030. With the older population increasing, the need for elder care giving will continue to increase.

Career Caregivers

Outside of family caregivers, we need to salute geriatric caregivers who perform a wide variety of roles that tend to the needs of seniors who live at home and in facilities.  Depending on the clients’ level of independence, job responsibilities of caregivers range from light housework, shopping, cooking, scheduling and driving clients to appointments, stores and social engagements, to reminding clients to take their medicine and assist them with bathing, dressing, grooming and using the toilet.

Certified Care More Important Than Certificates of Education

Although no specific educational degrees are required to become a geriatric caregiver, reputable care giving agencies require their job applicants to pass psychological and other tests, including background checks. Certified agencies, like Elder Connections, must meet strict federal requirements for patient care and management.

Providing Quality of Life Is Demanding

The physical demands of care taking can be rigorous. Duties may include light nursing, changing surgical dressings, giving medications, or changing bedpans. The emotional demands can also be rigorous. Patients may be difficult, depressed or violent and in as much need of emotional attention as they are of physical attention. But good caregivers derive great satisfaction from knowing they are helping their clients enjoy a better quality of life.

Celebrate Those Who Celebrate Others’ Well-Being

Our caregivers help the elderly live more comfortably at home or in a senior care facility. We ask you to please acknowledge them with a note, a gift of thanks or even an offering of your time to give them a needed break. Please let the people who graciously accept their duties to our beloved seniors that their service is recognized and appreciated.

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

Caring for a family member is emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss.  You can reduce your distress by concentrating on the present moment, the here and now, and by thinking of the glass as half full.

Today Is THE Day

Remember to observe yourself as you are in your caretaking role. Identify your thoughts. Remember that “should’s” and “only’s” try to rewrite your past, while “I wants” and “What if’s” focus on the future. Both prompt anxiety and depression. Be here now!

It Is What It Is

It is important to acknowledge your negative feelings without judging yourself. Accept what is. Life is a series of moments. What’s happening now is a done deal. Simply allow it, and don’t fight it in your mind, and you’ll be less stressed.

Concentrate on the Power of Positive Thinking

Focus on the present. Stay out of the past and future in your thinking. Take a few deep breaths.  Shift your attention to create room for something positive right now. Think of something that engages one of your senses:  the taste of your coffee, the color of the sky, or the music on the radio.

Seek Out Support from Friends & Professionals

Repeat as needed to refresh your outlook!  And remember, you don’t have to manage this alone.  Reach out to the Alzheimer’s Association and join one of their excellent support groups.  Speak to a trusted friend.  Call a Geriatric Care Manager.  Dementia is not a one person play!

Lois Young-Tulin

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager at Elder Connections

BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS, CMC
President Elder Connections

How Seniors Remain At Home:  The Village Movement is One Answer

According to AARP, 90% of people want to remain at home.  Yet, staying at home is challenging when needs increase and health declines.  As the aging demographic tsunomi continues the pressure on social services and alternative living communities will overburden a system which is already compromised.  The expense to both families and our society is astronomical.

The Village Movement

The grass roots “village” movement is one answer.  Run by volunteers, communities are organizing a neighbor-to-neighbor approach to help people stay at home.  Here is how it works:

•   Members of the village pay a membership fee each year.  Some villages are all volunteer, while others have paid staff.

•   Villages provide discount dues for the lower-income elderly

•    Some of the services villages provide are gardening, shopping, driving, and household repairs.  It fills in the tasks that often become difficult when a person ages.

•    The Village Movement is NOT a social service agency.  But, typically there are relationships with trusted providers of services such as home care and care management.

The Village Movement Evolution

The Village Movement began in 2001.  Beacon Hill Village in Boston was the very first.  This consumer-driven and consumer run Village has an executive director with unpaid volunteers and paid staff.  Interest in it was immediate and continues across the United States.  This year it partnered with NCB Capital Impact, a non-profit community development group, to launch the national Village-to-Village Network.  Met Life Foundation is one of the sponsors as is JP Morgan Chase.

The Village Movement Today and Into The Future

NCB Capital Impact reports that there are currently 54 operational villages with hundreds more in development.  Philadelphia’s Penn Village has been highly successful as it serves Old City and now other Center City neighborhoods.

The concept of neighbors helping neighbors was a cultural norm of an earlier time.  Harkening back to a gently, more friendly moment in our society, this grass roots cooperative living alternative has organically shifted people.  Caring for each other can generate the autonomy and freedom we all seek.  Neighbor-helping Neighbor – what a “new” idea!

Remembering Ella

Woman’s Legacy Impacts Elder Connections

William Howard Taft was president.  The Titanic had not yet sunk.  It would still be eight more years until women were allowed to vote, and in 1911 Ella Reiter was born in New Jersey.

It seems that only yesterday, Elder Connections was celebrating the 100th birthday of Ella Reiter. Now, sadly, we remember her life and the wisdom that she imparted.

Being around Ella was always an encouraging and uplifting experience.  Throughout her life she volunteered in the name of basic human goodness.  She treated people with true kindness and respect.

Senior’s Zest for Life

Ella’s amazing zest for life was evident in her many interests including music, literature, writing poetry and making friends.  During meal times at her retirement communty you could find Ella in the dining room sitting with her friends – and she had many.

She was a rare combination of competence and compassion.  Her pride and joy were her two children — a son and a daughter.

Ella stayed active, ate well and always looked forward to the future.  When interviewed on her 100th birthday, Ella said, “Turning 100 only means thankfulness to me, that my brain still works the way it should,” and it did.

Ella Reiter made the world a better place and will remain a role model for aging gracefully.

Artist Studio, Adult Day Care

Adult Day Care Helps Seniors Stay Active

As we age, our need for daily activity does not decrease.  In fact, it becomes more important. Adult Day Services recognize this need and have created a center where older adults living at home can come and enjoy social and therapeutic activities.

A Special Place for Aging Seniors

Adult Day Services is the destination of choice for adults seeking a caring, stimulating and safe environment to spend their day. Like anyone else, seniors need and deserve an environment that supports their capacity for self-care and encourages positive feelings of dignity, love and self-worth. Caregivers also benefit by having time to work, run the family household or even just relax while their loved one is attending an Adult Day Center.

A Senior’s Personal Story

Sometimes, seniors may be turned off about attending an Adult Day Care Center, and my client, Sally, was no exception. In the beginning, she was reluctant to try something new. The first two weeks she complained that it was “boring.”

Imagine my delight several weeks later when I picked up Sally at the Center, and she was beaming with pride and excitement. She felt like a social butterfly, saying goodbye to her new friends by name and proud of the paint under her fingernails, proof of her art work — a valentine.

Experiences Love and a Social Community

Sally now looks forward to participating in various activities, and socializing with her new friends at the Center. She comes home from a day at the Center energized, satisfied from a hot, nutritious lunch, and chatting about all the fun activities she enjoyed.  “I can’t wait until Thursday when I can go back to the Center,” Sally said the last time I drove her home.  That’s another step for better senior care!

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager with Elder Connections.  She also has a PhD in literature, previously taught at Montgomery County Community College, written four published books and is currently working on a new novel.

Ella Celebrates 100 years

Each birthday is a milestone, and some deserve special attention.   For Ella Reiter, 100 is only a number.  Ella was born in Atlantic City, New Jersey on February 2, 1911, where she raised her two children, David and Judy, until moving to The Watermark, a senior retirement living community, in Philadelphia fourteen years ago.

Active Lifestyle Extends Senior Years

At 100, Ella is still active, friendly, and full of energy.  At one time she was in charge of welcoming new residents to the Watermark community.  She is a member of the poetry club and had a poem published in the “Spotlight.”  She is an avid reader, as evidenced by the pile of books next to her bed.

“I never just sat around.  That’s why I’m still strong.  I’ve had a great time my whole life and was an athlete.  I was even on a gymnastics team,” Ellas said.  Her active life in Atlantic City included starting a library in her synagoue, serving as the president of the PTA, Secretary and Treasurer of New Jersey Sisterhoods, and recipient of the Woman of Valor Award.  In addition, Ella ran and worked in her husband’s dental office until she retired at age 75.  To mark her 100th birthday, members of her Atlantic City synagogue, where she is still a member, donated money in her honor.

Aging Refines Better Senior Care

A centennial birthday is a momentous event, one that should be recognized by family and friends, and Ella is blessed with many loving family members and her “new” friends at the Watermark.  Ella celebrated her birthday with close family memmbers — about 16 people.  A favorite with her many nieces and nephews, she is their role model for aging gracefully.

Someone on a road trip looking for the Fountain of Youth may want to stop and ask Ella for directions.  Ella’s zest for life is amazing.  Happy Birthday, Ella!

Lois Young-Tulin, PhD, is an Assistant Geriatric Care Manager with Elder Connections

BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS, CMC
President, Elder Connections

Tax Help for Your Aging Parents

It’s that time of year to start your tax planning.   Be certain to file for the allowable deductions for the personal care of a senior.  There are numerous deductions to explore that can provide you with significant tax benefit.

5 Categories of Deductible Senior Care Services

1. Qualified Long-Term Care Insurance – premiums are deductible based upon the age of the insured. 
2. Qualified Long-Term Care Services that are necessary, diagnostic, preventive, and  involve maintenance and personal care services. 
3. Maintenance and Personal Care Services.  These are considered those which provide for care of a chronically ill individual with needed assistance.
4. Medical services from licensed health care providers and medications that are prescribed.
5. Nursing Homes

Tax Resources to Help Seniors

Elder Connections advises you to consult with your tax preparer and investigate the IRS publications addressing this issue.  The rules need to be understood thoroughly before you proceed because there are many factors affecting the eligibility for deductions.   The IRS code is 7702B.

As we know, the cost of care for seniors is a challenge for most families.  Let’s protect our resources armed with the knowledge of a thorough planning strategy.  Better senior care relies upon a team of specialists who can provide you with this knowledge. 

When the time comes to help your aging parents with their care, seek the expertise of  Geriatric Care Managers – your partners in providing quality better senior care.

BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS, CMC
President Elder Connections

After the holidays I confronted my resistance to that dreaded activity – I got on the scale.  It wasn’t pretty!  But, there comes a time when it is necessary to stare boldly at the reality at hand.  It is one thing to assume something, and it is another thing to face it.

New Year’s Resolutions are something that many of us make.  It may be the diet thing or a commitment to make this year a fresh start and to explore those things which are difficult to face.  It is a new beginning.  And, as caregivers, we can use this time as an opportunity to really address our parents’ issues.  After all, seeing what is before us can give us the control to avoid mistakes and to point us towards what needs to happen.

11 New Year’s Caregiver Resolutions for 2011

1. Review your parents’ power of attorney, living will, and advanced directives.  If there are none in place, discuss this need with your parent
2. Hire an elder law attorney to review legal matters and assure all documents are up to date
3. Do a safety inspection of your parent’s home observing area rugs, lighting, steps, grab bars in the bathroom, and other obvious fall risks
4. Make sure that you understand your parents’ physical and mental status through both observations and visits or conversations with their primary physician
5. Discuss their perspective of their status with them and gain an understanding of their view of the future
6. Review their financial situation with them and/or their financial planner
7. Hold family meetings to discuss their current status, their short and long-term wishes.  Support family members to volunteer to do what they can for parents and to consider themselves a “team” to address parental needs.  Each person can elect to do different things that support the common goal.
8. Put your care team in place – by learning about appropriate physician specialists, resources, and geriatric care management
9. If a move is being considered, familiarize yourself with the retirement communities in your area
10. Name the “elephant” in the room – let’s talk about a “what if” scenario.   Begin with something like:  “Did you hear about Aunt Katherine?  She had a stroke and the family needs to make some decisions.  What do YOU think they should do?”  It’s always easier to discuss when its happening to someone else.
11. Make a plan to care for yourself!  This should be your #1 resolution.  As caregiving demands increase, the burden goes unnoticed.  But, your body knows the truth.  The greatest love of all is learning to love and care for yourself!!