Tears For My Mother

Posted on March 16th, 2010

portraitbeverly

   BY:  Beverly Bernstein Joie, MS, CMC
         President Elder Connections

Getting Down to Business After Loss

When a loved one dies, there are so many orders of business.  There’s a funeral to arrange, a will to probate, people to contact, and decisions to make.  In my mom’s case, this winter brought with it the first blizzard of the season that actually postponed the the funeral.

In the midst of the chaos, there is the mourning process.  I asked myself, “Where are my tears for my mother?”  Somehow, they were missing in action.

A Caregiver’s Loss

For years, caregiving my mother was an integral part of my life.  Now, all these activities were missing and I could not call her to tell her about my life.  There was no mother at the other end of the phone line.  There were so many feelings, vivid dreams, and eventually – the sadness of loss.  My entire life was affected and it seemed that the ground had been pulled out from under me.  I needed to find myself all over again, one step at a time.  And, oh yes, the tears eventually found themselves in my heart.  Talking about her, seeing her picture, and upcoming family holidays remind me of the hole in my soul.

Better Senior Care Means That Better Caregiver Care Continues

I learned early on, that the mourning process that it can not be navigated successfully alone.  With the help of my colleagues at Elder Connections, I have trained  professionals who understand and are skilled in helping me deal with my loss.  We are here to help caregivers face the challenges ahead with skill and compassion. 

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”  Kenji Miyazawa

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

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